Mary, Did You Know?

Though I have many "favorite" songs during the holidays, this one has always touched me deeply. It has had an even greater impact after becoming a mother.

There is nothing on earth that can compare to that moment when you are handed your child for the first time (and I know that it happens with adoption as well!). I know some moms struggle with the bonding taking place over several days, but for many of us that first second we hold him/her there is something that happens in our heart. I know that with each of my children there was an instant love, protection, overwhelming joy and gratitude. Though I was nervous that it wouldn't happen again after the first one, I worried needlessly. An instant bond, an unbreakable one of unconditional love, instantly filled my heart.

As I think about Mary, I wonder. I wonder what she felt when her arms first held her son. I wonder, did she know? Did she have any idea what the future held for that precious child? Did she have any idea of the impact he would make on mankind for all of eternity?

Can you just imagine? Can you imagine her heart? She had already experienced a miracle by his conception. She'd already experienced hardship and emotional battles. Think about how people must have looked at her. Judgmental. Shunning. Yet, she was carrying the GREAT I AM! Can you imagine the weight that was on her shoulders?

His birth was not anything like she planned or expected. Can you imagine giving birth to your first child in a stable? Talking about humble beginnings for royalty!!!

As she held him in her arms, can you imagine the bonding she had with him? She knew she was holding a miracle. Even as much as us moms experience that amazing feeling of holding our child, it had to completely pale in comparison to what she was feeling.

I remember looking at each of my children and gazing at them with awe. Miraculous. Innocent. Ecstatic love. But to be holding your son.....THE CHRIST. Doesn't the thought just overwhelm you?

As I held each of mine, I can remember holding them with amazement and wondering what God had in store for each of them. I talk often about the instant "Mountain Mover" filling my heart when I held Bradlee. Each of those moments with each child is just a moment that can't be erased in my heart. As much as I looked at them and wondered where God would lead them, I can only imagine what Mary's heart must have been thinking.

Did she know that the precious innocent life she held would be beaten, betrayed, hung to die on the cross for the sins of the world? Talking about a TALL order for a child. We want to protect our children, even before they are born we have that protective nature. In her heart, did she want to run and hide him from the world? Did she have any sense of the gravity of the life that she held?

I wonder if she had any concept that the son she delivered would soon deliver her and all of mankind? Did she have any idea of the miracles he would perform?

How often do we think about the things we are responsible for in raising our children? We don't often consider the impact they have on us. Yet, so often they change our lives far more than we can ever change or influence theirs. I know I often learn more from my children than I can ever teach them. Imagine if that child you held was Christ.

Mary's heart. Her thoughts. Her emotions. Her sense of the future.

I can only imagine.