This year was a wrestling year, but at almost the last moment He clearly put it in my heart.
For the last two months, "radiate" was the word that came to heart time and time again. Actually, quite obsessively in ways. I want to live such a life that I radiate Him in all I do. Certainly THAT was going to be THE word to steer my heart this year. It kept standing out and showing up. It seemed perfect and expressed my direction well, but there was just a little something that just held me back from claiming it.
Earlier today, I was praying again for direction, just in general about the upcoming year. Not specifically for "my" word, but about some things on my heart. A new year makes me excited and anxious at the same time. We're in a season of constant change and that's sometimes a bit difficult to navigate. 2017 was incredible in many ways and extremely difficult in others. I have mixed feelings about letting it go and embracing the next.
But in those quiet moments, a word was put so deep in my spirit, unexpectedly. I instantly knew it was right and from Him.
Hello, #my2018oneword , nice to finally meet you!
Because of how certain and unexpected that hit my spirit, and my knowing it was directly from the Holy Spirit, I spent some time doing a word study in various commentaries, dictionaries, and study apps. If PURSUE is such a message intentionally spoken to my heart, I immediately wondered exactly why He was sending me that message.
To pursue: seek, follow, to go after in a like fashion, proceed without following another, to continue, to imitate, to strive to reach or gain
A focus to pursue Him: relentlessly, whole heartedly, unabashedly, and without reserve.
I'm certain that is a beautiful focus for 2018.
HE pursued me. He constantly draws me back to Him when I get off track. His pursuit of me was with such uncompromising and unconditional love that He willingly died for me. I was recently reminded in a study of how He CHOSE to make that sacrifice. No one took His life, He willingly gave it.
Knowing that changes everything.
Reminded of these verses:
- Ask, Seek, Knock (Luke 11:9-10)--- active and relentlessly, persistence
- He detests the way of wicked, but loves those who pursue righteousness (Proverbs 15:9)
- Follow the way of love and pursue spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 14:1)
- Pursue love, faith, righteousness, gentleness, godliness, peace (1 Timothy 6:11, 2 Timothy 2:22)
- You'll find Me when you seek me with your whole heart (Jeremiah 29:13)
- Seek FIRST His kingdom (Matthew 6:33)
Nothing else matters.
Though my word has obvious deep spiritual meaning/ impact and I look forward to more time digging into Scripture, walking in faith, and earnestly seeking Him...
I also want to pursue in 2018:
- My dreams again: those I've put aside while raising our kids, the ones I've failed or quit, the ones I didn't have enough faith for, the ones others snuffed out, and even ones I've yet to discover
- My health: feeling stronger, healthier, and back on track as a priority; controlling my lupus symptoms more than they control me, balancing hormones, managing stress
- My ministry with more focus: I've been reminded of the value of happy mail and encouraging the overlooked and broken hearted, Satan had been lying to me and making me think it wasn't beneficial
- My relationships: focusing on my roles, priorities, getting out of my box and stepping outside my deep rooted comfort zones at times, pursuing community, spending more one on one time making others feel valued
- My goals: getting back to what matters most in our home, our homeschool, and our family
- My husband: keeping things fresh, special, laughter filled and connected even after these 22 years of marriage, it's incredible to be pursued but also such value in doing the pursuing, pursuing our lives together in new seasons
- Authenticity & Vulnerability
- Being present fully in the moment
- Word before World, in all aspects
I may have started the day with ambivalence, a bit of restrained hope, and a bit of trepidation as I thought of the coming year...
It's with a true excitement to see what it brings. No need to have one foot in the past and one in the future. I just need to be present right where my feet currently are, walking in pursuit of Him.
After all, these last couple of months have reignited a belief in miracles and deepened the role of prayer and the strength of His Spirit. With that knowledge, 2018, you're welcome here.
In pursuit of Him,