Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Insatiable

There is a little 5 year old that OWNS my heart.  Actually all of my kids and husband own it.  They own every little corner of it!

Yet, there is something about my little guy.  He is openly affectionate and his desire for my love is insatiable.   There are days that he will stop in the middle of playing a game on Wii, run to my room and say "Big Hug & Kiss Mom" and then go back to his game.  Every morning, though I BEG for him to go back to sleep and give me JUST five more minutes, he HAS to have my full attention.  Full attention means FULL body hugs and snuggles.  He isn't content with just a little squeeze and kiss.  He wants it ALL.  Let me tell you, I'm MORE than happy to take those few minutes because I know there will come a day that he will continue to grow up and my hugs and kisses will become less important to him.  Boo! 

Then there is this habit in the middle of the night that just warms my heart like nothing else. I've never seen anything like it before.  He comes down in the middle of the night (usually around 1 AM) for nothing more than to say "I love you, Mom" and for a hug and kiss.  He immediately goes back upstairs alone and gets in his bed and back to sleep.  He doesn't ask for a drink of water, go to the potty, or ask for anything (at least on this trip anyway!!!).  It doesn't matter how warm his bed is and how cold the house is.  It doesn't matter how much energy it takes.  He HAS to make that middle of the night trip. 

Oh how I love that little guy...

But it makes me think of something else.  It makes me wonder if I have that same hunger to be with my heavenly father.  Do I have that same desire to connect with Him the same way that Bradlee hungers to be with me?

I definitely spend time with Him.  I definitely try to live a life that is pleasing to Him.  My soul craves to be connected with Him.

But....

Is my desire so strong that I want to be with Him enough to "figuratively" get out of my very warm bed when the house is only 56 degrees.   Do I put in that extra effort that requires me to go from one end of the house to the other just to be with Him?  Do I stop what I'm doing just because I'm so overwhelmed with the need to be with Him?

I know what I want my answer to be.  Yet, I know what my REAL answer is.  Unfortunately.

Some days I do have that insatiable desire, the desire that makes me STOP everything else just to sit as His feet.  But so many other days...

I'm too busy.  The noise of the outside world is just too loud.  My selfish desires overtake.  I'm lazy.  Good intentions don't necessarily met up with actions. 

Today I'm reminded that I need to more like my 5 year old.  I need to TRULY crave my time "snuggled up" with my savior as if nothing else in the world matters. 

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