I've been thinking about the picture of my life lately, most specifically in recent days. As we wait and pray for God to reveal His "big" purpose for our lives and send us in the direction of His choosing (specifically in regards to whether or not He is calling us to a foreign mission field), I've found myself off balance and edgy. OK---let's called it what it is---moody and emotional. Stressed over little things. Hurt by words of others (or action/inactions) that I normally can let roll off without damaging my heart. Wounds that have been healing have felt raw and open. Just unsettled and anxious.
I don't think that is what He wants for me in this waiting game.
Today still matters.
Tomorrow is important, but TODAY matters.
No matter what that bigger call and purpose may be...
In this moment.
I still have a valid purpose.
I can't lose the focus and importance of today.
I am called here and now to be His. His daughter. The wife of my husband that He chose. The mother to three children He has given me. I'm their mother. I'm their teacher. Those roles are CALLED by Him and I am to embrace those fully and attentively. They have deep meaning and far reaching implications for generations to come. I'm the caregiver of "littles" and from the beginning I've felt as if that has been a calling from Him and have embraced it as such. Plus countless others roles and purposes that He places in my daily path.
It is enough.
It is more than enough.
If I'm being honest, some days it feels like too much. :)
Each and every current role causes me to have to look beyond myself, cling to Him, and walk in faith to shape precious others lives. Giving of myself. Searching my own heart to make sure that I'm in line with His will and following His directions.
I can look forward with anticipation for the answer to a greater purpose, but I can NOT waste today. I have to embrace it and give it all I have. For this IS my current calling.
When all is said and done, I want to look back and say, " I did what I was called to do, and I did it well!"
Some days I most definitely can't say that is true. Some days I find myself straying from what He has asked or required. Some days I get caught up in the lies of satan that says what I do doesn't matter and that I'm invisible. Some days I get caught up in the negativity of others. Some days I get caught up in not receiving approval from some that so freely give it to others.
Instead, God wants me to see my worth through Him. He wants me to see that where I am right now matters. He wants me to answer the call of today and to do it with purpose, love, and to give ALL of myself to it.