I have literally been laughing at myself all morning. Sometimes I can really be smart and efficient, other times I can't see a solution even if it is looking at me straight in the eye and screaming at me.
The problem? Finding time to put myself on the list as a priority. For the most part that means I need time to exercise AND have a few minutes of silence. Granted, I do need other things, but those two are the most important right now at this point in my life.
I always wanted to get up and exercise early in the morning and our neighborhood leaves limitless places to walk and enjoy being outside. I love it. The treadmill and I have a love hate kind of relationship. It just doesn't soothe my soul the way being outside does. It doesn't motivate me. However, there are only two times of day outside that bring me peace. Late in the evening and early in the morning. Late in the evening infringes on family time and is hard to fit in the schedule on a regular basis.
Getting up and going in the morning doesn't work because I can't leave the kids. We've talked for years about me going before Kevin leaves for work. That doesn't work because he leaves at 4:30 and I'm not committed enough to get up and going out at 3:45 to be back before he leaves. NOT happening.
Finally last night, I had this DUH moment. The light bulb went off and I couldn't help but laugh at myself. The can't go in the morning reason has expired. My kids are finally old enough to be left now and I just forgot about it! We leave them with Adriana in charge for date night, but I had totally forgotten about being able to slip out in the morning with them still in bed! Even with Bradlee being an early riser, he can entertain himself for those few minutes with Adriana available for an emergency. Besides that, I'm still in the neighborhood and I have this amazing thing called a cell phone!
So, this morning I woke up a few minutes before Bradlee and slipped out the door. I had a VERY enjoyable walk which gave me some MUCH needed time alone. Exercise for the body, peace for my brain, and some uninterrupted time to have some one-on-one time with God. When I got back home, he was sitting on the couch watching a pre-selected TV show with the pillow and blanket I had left him. Yes, I did miss our early morning snuggle time that is precious to me, but we still had a few minutes to sit and talk and I still got my hugs and kisses. A few minutes later the big kids and Baxter were up ready to go. I was already MUCH better prepared to face the day. I had already had some ME time AND some God time. Priceless!
The funny thing is this: I could have started this months ago. I've been sitting here trying to make it fit in my schedule. STRESSING out over trying to make it work. Feeling overwhelmed because I couldn't get it to fit in the regular day. The solution was basically just looking at me in the face, waving this big flag for attention. I didn't see it.
Isn't that how it works at times? That can't see the forest for the trees mentality? It bites me in the tail and blinds me at times. I get so overwhelmed looking at the big picture, trying to fit in all the little details that I sometimes miss the EASY solutions.
Last night, I was walking with the boys riding their bikes. I was just amazed at how great it felt to be out doing that and how wonderful it would be to have a few minutes like that for myself. I had been enjoying our time at the pool the days we went MOSTLY because those first 30 minutes were so quiet (just pass holders---not general public yet). I would float along the lazy river while Adriana entertained Bradlee in the regular pool. I spent those 30 minutes relaxing and having an uninterrupted time to talk with God. It was remarkable. I immediately began to stress when those moments ended because summer was winding down and the pool closed during the weekdays. Right in front of me, I had the same solution. Just couldn't see it. As I was walking last night, I was asking God to show me how to find those same minutes of solitude. When I got home last night and Kevin and I were finally winding down for some alone time and talking about our upcoming date night, it hit me. DUH! Why hadn't I seen it before? I couldn't help but laugh.
So many times we are just stuck in the same way of doing things. We easily get overwhelmed with life's demands and forget that though not everything has a simple solution, some things DO! I work so hard to simplify and organize our day and I miss some easy solutions. I'm good at making things too hard at times. I'm so thankful that as soon as I prayed for a solution, God handed it right to me. You know what? He was probably laughing and smiling at me. He had probably been waiting forever for me to just ask! I'd been praying for clarity, direction, and managing priorities. I just needed to ask Him for specifics. Duh!!!! Maybe I need to ask Him for MORE specifics in other areas. Maybe He is just sitting there with HIS list of solutions to MANY of my needs and is just waiting to hand them over when I ask!