Friday, August 9, 2013

He's NOT the Enemy

I believe in honesty and transparency....authenticity.

Sometimes life isn't as pretty as the picture we paint.
Sometimes we find ourselves wishing we could have a do-over.
Sometimes the kids act in ways that make us cringe.
Sometimes our spouse steps on our toes and we want to stomp back.
Sometimes WE act in ways that make us cringe.

Life is sometimes a mess.  Really messy.

I have an amazingly, beautiful, jaw-dropping marriage.  Seriously.  I'm blessed.

Those that know us (as in REALLY know us), know that it was far from being that way for a long time.  Which is what makes our love story so precious. Redeemed. Restored.  Beyond our wildest imaginations.

It's a treasure.

However, we are two very imperfect people. One from Mars. One from Venus.  Two sinful, selfish people that can clash.  REALLY clash.  Over the most insignificant things.  (Reminds me of Warren Barfield's "pretzel" story that led to his writing of "Love is Not a Fight" that he shares on the Love Worth Fighting For marriage enrichment tour with Kirk Cameron as speaker....which by the way tops our list of HIGHLIGHTS of things you must attend!).

Well, we've had a "bit" (translate HUGE) of that clash going on this week.

This isn't a matter of he said, she said, he did, she did, he didn't, she didn't, she should have, he should have.........
That's not details for the world or even important.

What's important is this:

When those days come and they DO come even to the happiest couples...

Something important to remember is the reminder that finally sank into my heart and allowed the glue to be put back together in our Stronger. Together lifestyle.

He is not the enemy (She is not the enemy).

It's not a battle against each other.

It's a battle against the one that wants to destroy our homes, our witness, our love, and our families.  That enemy knows which buttons have the most impact of destruction.  That enemy knows which weaknesses to prey on.  He knows which things you can normally overlook or easily forgive and how to twist them so they BLOW UP!

When you remember who the enemy is, it's MUCH easier to end the battle in front of you.  Time to change the tactics of warfare. When you can stop battling each other over whatever the infraction may be or may have been PERCEIVED to be (that typically is a KEY difference!), it's much easier to come back together on the same team.

Otherwise, it's too easy to stay in a battle.  A battle that doesn't really need to be fought.

Thankful for the reminder to my heart last night that if I stop battling my husband and attack the real enemy, the battle ends or at the very least can come to a cease-fire!  Besides, who wants to live in the middle of an artillery zone with a target on their back (unless it is with super soakers or nerf THAT is fun!).

Just wish I had remembered THAT before I came unglued.


Anyone else in need of a do-over some days?

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