Depleted

Life is back in full swing.

It's back to balancing all the needs of each family member and those littles in my care, while tackling our 12th year of homeschooling.  This year brings us with "tot" school (not quite preschool, but just as fun and involved), 2nd grade, 6th grade, and a Junior (gasp).

We're only officially in our first week and the newness hasn't had time to wear off, but I'm in a confident place.  God is blessing our year.  We purposely gave it to him well before this week started.  He was in the choosing of directions and He was in the planning stages.  He was given every concern and recipient of praise for every victory.  He provided the way to make the needed purchases.  He opened up the calendar to give us a chance to start early to get a good rhythm going to be prepared to add in a sweet newborn soon to arrive and to offer care as needed for a special family needing temporary care as a ministry opportunity.  He has paved the way for more than I can describe.

Yet....

I'm depleted.

Despite things going amazingly.  Despite joy and laughter. Despite great hope for doors that are opening wide.

I'm depleted.

Physically.  Zapped.
Emotionally. Done in.
Spiritually. Hungry

At first, I thought this was a negative.  I thought this was a sign that we are on the wrong path for some of the directions we are going.

Then I realized...

THIS is exactly where we need to be.  THIS is exactly where I SHOULD be.

Depletion.

Means I'm empty.  I have nothing of my own to give.

OH but wait....

That means...

He shows up.
He gets the glory for every victory.
There's no confusion of where the power comes from.

I'm empty for a reason.

I'm empty to be FILLED by Him.

Emptied of me.
Emptied of my desires.
Empty of my abilities.

Empty to be filled of Him.

This is the BEST place.

Instead of being discouraged, I need to be amazed and have my eyes wide open.

His opportunities are waiting.

His grace is sufficient.
He gives rest.
His power is made strongest in my weaknesses.

Oh yes....

I'm beginning to like this empty place.

(Yet, I do think some extra naps and rest when it can be squeezed in aren't a bad idea either...)