When deciding to start blogging, my number one promise to myself was to be honest and transparent. Even if that at times left me vulnerable or revealed my many flaws. It's transparency and honesty that brings us together and lifts us up. At least that is what brings me back time and time again to my favorite blogs and different authors' writings.
When I was writing the post that went up earlier today, I admit I faced a struggle.
JUST as I was writing the post and my heart was full of confidence in that "peace that transcends all understanding", a situation came up that REALLY has put that to the test. I had just popped onto facebook long enough to make a status update being thankful that God has brought peace back into my heart. I had JUST sent my husband a "gushy" email about how thankful I am for him and the progress we have made together on some TOUGH issues recently. I was in process of writing another email to a friend letting her know how confident I was that my heart was healing. I was VERY much feeling on track with what God had been putting on my heart lately and the direction He had been leading.
"That" situation that came up rocked me. My initial reaction was hurt, panic, immediately being overwhelmed, etc.. All of those things that I had just been thankful for NOT feeling, hit and they hit hard.
I found myself unable to finish the email I was writing. I struggled to write the post I was in process of trying to finish, proof read, and post. Satan told me that I should just delete it. Maybe what I wrote I didn't believe after -all!
Then I did what I've learned to do in recent weeks. I SILENCED the doubts. I silenced the panic. I FIXED my eyes on Jesus. I immediately began quoting the words of the verses I've mentioned often recently (Philippians 4:6-8). I didn't have to look it up. They are in my soul now. I immediately claimed the promises of God in victory of "this" situation. I asked a couple of friends to pray with me that the situation would NOT rob me of the joy that I've been experiencing and that it wouldn't send my heart into a panic. I turned on some favorite worship songs that immediately connect my heart to the place it belongs. As soon as it was feasibly possible, I shared my heart with my husband about the issue. Within SECONDS, the panic was gone. The situation is unchanged. It leaves many unanswered questions that won't have quick answers. The confusion and concern isn't going to go away quickly. However, the peace DID come. Not only did it come for me, it came for my husband as well. In times before, something similar to this situation would have broken us both in different painful aspects, but instead it immediately brought us together. Once given the time and privacy to really pray together tonight, I know that that peace is only going to get better and stronger.
THAT is the power of those verses and focusing on Christ----even in the difficult moments.
I can't change the news I heard. I can't change or manipulate it all to work perfectly. I can't rewind time or decisions. I can't prevent future hurt that is sure to come.
However, I can immediately go to the source that provides the calm.
Today, I learned a valuable lesson.
When Satan tried to convince me that my thoughts were a lie, that my "peace" wasn't real, etc.. I was able to immediately rebuke that power over me. It isn't about sweeping the negativity under a rug and ignoring it. Trust me, the situation is still the same. The uncertainty, hurt, and other things are still VERY much real. However, the power that comes from a true, deep-rooted faith in God OVERRULES. By praying for our immediate needs in the situation (vs. 6), He is already at work and the anxiety is released. By praying personally and asking others to join us, the indescribable peace has already arrived (vs. 7). By praying that my thoughts be transformed and focused on the good things (vs. 8), God has already stepped in and shown us some positives that we wouldn't have necessarily seen otherwise.
The main thing is that we know God is already at work. We don't know how it will resolve. We don't know what is in store and have significant questions and uncertainty. We don't know what difficulties will be involved.
We know this: We have peace. We have joy. We have God already at work.
Satan, you lost! I have to tell you thank you.
Thank you for giving me a situation that forced me to put into practice what I had been learning. You see, at first I was furious of the timing. It seems to always happen that way. You know the two steps forward one step back (or even two forward, three back!), kind of thing....
Well, this time it was two steps forward and two more steps forward. So, I have to say thank you.
You see, "you intended to harm me, but God meant it for good". (Genesis 50:20 reference).
So thankful for how deep the word of God is getting in my heart and how it is pouring out when needed the most.
It's all about where our eyes are fixed.
The timing is actually perfect. At first I was so mad that I couldn't even walk "confidently" for two seconds without an attack. Yet now, I know the timing came perfectly. This news a couple of weeks ago would have been the LAST straw that would have pushed me over the edge. Now, there was room in my head/heart to actually process it. Enough clarity to know the right direction to go. Confidence that God would provide the needed calm and peace.
So yes....thank you, Satan.
You brought me one small step closer to God. You pushed me deeper into His arms. You gave me a chance to see if I really believed what I had been feeling. You gave me the opportunity to show you just how powerful God is.
You lose. God wins. Enough said.
However, I would be QUITE happy if you would just permanently back off and leave us alone. Wouldn't hurt my feelings one little bit to be rid of you forever. But since I know that won't happen, I'll just stick with my Hero that can defeat you with one word! JESUS. You don't stand a chance with Him by our side! :)