It's incredible what a few days difference can make in breaking a habit! Facebook YOU no longer are my addiction! I will probably pop on and off in the future, but it will NOT be my "normal" way of life.
Last night, I sat on our bed at 8:00 with NOTHING really needing to be done. Everything on the list was done. I didn't crash at midnight still upset because so much was left to do. I'm EXCELLENT at time management. Being "connected" all the time didn't keep me from getting things done, it just WEIGHED me down to the point that I couldn't focus. However, those first 48 hours I had to keep moving at lightning speed to keep myself busy to break the hand AND mind habit. Now that the habit IS broken, I'm still moving at lightning speed. I've even mopped the floors, vacuumed and dusted every room in the house EVERY single day. Can you imagine how CLEAN my house smells right now? Do you know how relaxing that is to this mom's heart? YES!!!
Today, I even started scrubbing baseboards and all of those little crevices. Cleaned this and that. Organized this and that.
Then, I still sat here staring at the computer with nothing pressing to do. I felt like I could officially go on facebook and check a few things. Mostly I wanted to see what was going on with some friends I truly miss AND I wanted to check on the status of the storms and my family in TN/KY/AL. I gave myself 10 minutes.
It took about 3 minutes to gather what information I needed and was "missing". The next 2 minutes was enough to tell me it was time to get back off AND I did. I didn't even spend the other allotted 5 minutes. Those two minutes were enough to remind me WHY I made this decision. Drama. Not needed. Compromising values. No thanks. Justification of behavior. No thanks. Degrading other people. Don't want part of it. Stirring up controversy that HURTS people in the process. I'll pass.
I NEED people that hold me to a higher standard and provide the means of gentle conviction when I'm walking in disobedience or "flirting" with sin. I NEED people that provide me with accountability. I NEED people that uplift and encourage. I NEED people that point me towards keeping my focus on Christ. I NEED people that seek to lift up their brothers and sisters in Christ. I NEED people that drive me to be a better mom, wife, educator, etc.. I NEED people that show me direction when I'm feeling lost along the way.
I LOVED seeing sweet pictures of family and friends. I LOVED seeing different friends participating with their children in school activities. I LOVED seeing uplifting quotes and encouraging Bible verses.
I hated that I missed some situations that I could have been joining in praying for (sick children, accidents, moms struggling with situations, etc...). I hate that I had lost some opportunities to encourage and support.
Yet, I can't divide the two right now. I can't separate the good from the bad enough right now to protect my heart. Therefore, I'm still continuing to take a break. Just the few minutes and the change that took place in my "thought process" is enough to tell me that I was on the right track.
I'm living by this verse right now as my guidance:
"And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8
This verse is how we decide if we should watch, read, or listen to something. We've used it to mostly apply to TV, but now it's guiding my decisions in regards to other things I let fill my mind/heart. It's such a convicting verse. One that often reveals where I'm falling short. It applies to not only what I expose myself to, but also what thoughts I "fixate" on. (THIS is a HUGE struggle!)
Paul also says in 1 Corinthians 1: 23: You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is good for you. You say, "I am allowed to do anything"--but not everything is beneficial. (I love how the ESV says not everything "builds up" and the NASV says not everything "edifies").
Kevin and I have talked about this verse VERY often in recent weeks. So many things we choose NOT to do are not necessarily sinful in nature so to speak, but they aren't beneficial. They don't bring us closer to each other, closer as a family, or closer to God. Some "things" may be OK because of the freedom we have in Christ and because of his Grace (in other words steering away from being "legalistic" ), but if they aren't bringing us closer to Him....then they aren't for us. THIS is hard at times, so VERY hard----because it's not always easy to give up something we like or love. Oh my...how many times I've resisted! Yet, more often than not, the blessings have far outweighed the struggle!
So, instead of spending more time on facebook today and NOT filling my heart with things that line up with that verse.........I found something else to do with my time.
I started painting baseboards, trim, and door frames. Yes....I think that will do my heart more good. After all, everything looks better with a fresh coat of paint. Fresh start. Clean. (Those are the words I want to describe my heart and my thoughts.)
Living the wild life now....HAHA!!!! Painting trim instead of spending time (LOTS of time) on Facebook? Who would have thought!! You could never have convinced me a few months ago that I would make that choice! :)