It seems like every minute we turn around, we are getting vivid reminders that our children are growing up.
If you know me, you KNOW I thrive with little ones around. Babies, toddlers, preschoolers...."littles" and "itty-bitties" are my passion. Many people, including some moms, have trouble tolerating littles under their feet and are constantly rushing life along in a hurry to get to the next stage.
I will be honest, I've struggled with watching my kids grow up. Can't many of us admit that if we are honest?
The day is coming closer and closer that we have to release them.
Every milestone has been bittersweet.
It's been precious and priceless, amazing and joyous....but tempered with the fact that time is slipping away.
It's especially hard on those of us that have been responsible for "creating" many of those firsts. One amazing thing about homeschooling is that so many firsts are THERE for you to witness first hand.
Cutting the apron strings has been something I've feared, nearly from day one.
Don't get me wrong. I do NOT want to hold my children back. I do NOT want to prevent them from pursuing dreams or fulfilling God's plan for their lives.
I'm just admitting that it's been hard. It's been even harder than I expected.
On the other hand....
These reminders of life FLYING by in a twinkle of an eye have NOT been as devastating as I thought.
Yes, I've been emotional. Yes, I've been caught up in "yesterday" they were so tiny or wasn't it yesterday that she was just learning to do this or he was just doing that.
However, I'm finding great peace and joy as we embrace the reminders of new seasons.
They aren't as terrifying as I imagined.
They are beautiful.
The main reason....
I can hardly wait to see what God has been shaping them for.
What destiny did God prepare for them BEFORE He ever put them in my arms?
Those skills they have, those characteristics that either drive me crazy or thrill me....how is He going to use them?
Where is she going? How will her passions play out and her skills be used?
How will he change the world with those incredible skills that I can't begin to understand?
How is he going to fulfill those words of "mountain mover" that were impressed on my heart the moment he was handed to me as his daddy was cutting the cord?
Now, don't get me wrong. I, at times, wish time would stand still. I wish life came in freeze frame mode so I could embrace these amazing days with them a lot longer.
Since it doesn't...
I'm learning to embrace life where we are at this moment without dread of the future and letting go.
They belong to Him.
I'm just thankful for each and every day that He's allowed me the honor and blessing of spending with them.
I'm learning to not wish away the days or speed them along.
I'm learning not to focus on regrets of the past or mistakes.
Even last weekend at Teach Them Diligently, one of the sessions I attended was about having a H.E.A.R.T for our children and the "R" stood for releasing them to God. Talking about a timely message. My heart has already been gearing towards that necessary part of life. Racheal Carmen (Apologia) was simply amazing and totally allowed God to use her! She talked about how they are not ours. They are to glorify Him and our job is to prepare them. What about Hannah? Can you imagine every time she nursed Samuel knowing she had promised Him back to God as soon as he was weaned? What about Moses' mom? Can you imagine the tears she shed as she wove that basket that would be the vessel to send him away? Can you imagine the prayers that Daniel's mother prayed after he was taken away from her? (I loved how she mentioned wondering if Daniel's mom met with the moms of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego for some serious prayer meetings!)
It's our job to give our children roots and wings. They need the roots that teach them the values for a life pleasing to God and to protect them until the time is right for them to fulfill His purpose. We should be the wind beneath their wings that sends them off with the encouragement of "Go, do what God says He has for you."
But....so very necessary.
Because they are His.
Some may say what I'm about to share was coincidence and when I want to "hold" back, I do as well. Yet, in reality I know that God was speaking to my heart in a specific moment sitting in a room full of mothers (and a few dads). As she walked around the room talking about letting go and how hard it is but necessary....she spoke about a few situations of letting go specifically. Some that she knew were coming for her in the lives of her children and speaking as a mom she knew first hand the bittersweetness of those moments. She pointed/looked directly at one mom and talked about sending a child to India. A couple of other "specifics" were mentioned and then....
Her eyes met mine...
And she said....
Some of you will put your daughter on a plane to Africa.
Hello? Heart stop moment. Goosebumps of epic proportions.
THAT day may very well be coming....
She talked about how we don't dare need to block our children's paths to His plans. We might have to pray non-stop and we might need Kleenex faster than they can make them.....
They are His.
I think the more and more these days of new seasons arrive, the more excited I get. Closer and closer to seeing His plans revealed. Questions answered. The fruit of the harvest. Plant the seeds with the harvest in mind.
The harvest is closer and closer.