When I'm stressed, I dream of places I would love to go. Those places that we've been, might some day go, or will most likely never go.
I think of some very special, very peaceful moments from our lighthouse tour of Michigan several months ago. There is so much about that trip that will forever be etched in all of our hearts.
I pray. I turn on some praise and worship music. I read scripture. I get lost in a good book or devotional.
There is one more place I go.
It's a place that brings me peace. Calms my anxious heart. It remind me of all I have.
His heart. My beloved's heart.
For me, there is nothing like snuggling up so close with my head on his chest, just listening to the steady, calming rhythm of his heartbeat. It's MY place.
Many times he doesn't even know that I'm there because I often find that perfect place while he's sleeping (and IF he ISN'T snoring!).
Often times I can snuggle and LOVE that embrace, but to truly calm my anxious heart and release so much tension I have to be purposeful. To hear that steady beat and connect, I have to be:
STILL and LISTEN!
I have to be perfectly still and intently focused. Outside noise blocks the sound. Moving, wiggling, and tossing and turning keep me from hearing it.
Last night, I had to find that place. This weekend I found myself so anxious, stressed, and just "out of sync" that I had to find my calm by being still and listening.
Listening to his heart.
But it wasn't JUST by his heart that I was finding my peace.
I was connecting to His heart as well.
As I was still and listening, He was also speaking to my heart.
Reminding me of something important.
To be STILL and LISTEN.
Just as much as I can't hear Kevin's heartbeat unless I'm still and listening, neither can I hear his.
I've recently got caught up in the "doing" and "being" of so many things, taking care of so many people. Yes, I've been in communication with God: constantly praying, in worship mode, cultivating a heart of thanksgiving and praise, etc.. BUT I had been doing and going.
I hadn't been stopping.
Sitting still or listening.
That is where the answers come. Communication can't be one sided to be effective.
As a found my calm amongst his embrace, I found some answers by listening to Him.
It's so easy to get caught up in doing. I'm so good at multi-tasking that it's VERY hard to just purposeful stop.
Yet, I know that is what my heart and soul needs.
To be still AND listen.
Just as I can't hear Kev's heartbeat if there is background noise or if I'm talking, I can't hear Him if I don't silence the outside world. Even just temporarily.
Just as I can't hear Kev's heartbeat if I'm wiggling, busy, or tossing and turning, I can't hear Him often enough if I'm not purposefully seeking Him.
Today, I choose to find ways to be STILL and LISTEN. Even though my "schedule" says it isn't possible. Even though my "need" to-do list says there isn't time. Even if my personality is hard-wired to do multiple things at once.
Being still and listening.
God speak, because I'm ready to listen.