I've been quiet this week and not jumped back into blogging like I thought I would.
I expected to come back from Hearts at Home with my fingers just itching to type faster than my thoughts could form.
I just KNEW He would show up and speak to my heart.
I absolutely expected this year at Hearts to be the most heart reaching for me. Having spent the last several months behind the scenes with Jill Savage on the book launch team for "No More Perfect Moms" and knowing how powerful the theme was and how much it had already reshaped me....I just KNEW God would further that.
He showed up.
He broke down walls.
He brought laughter.
He soothed wounds.
He opened my eyes.
So many more things.
I just have yet to find the words to share all of that experience.
Life IMMEDIATELY returned to busy, whirling faster than lightning. As with most major times of spiritual refreshment, satan is waiting to attack and ready to do so in the weakest areas. Just when I'm needing to pull in and be introspective, life is a blur and that time is not easily found.
No different this year!
I have found myself this week in such a strange place. Exhausted. Overwhelmed. Disconnected, yet so connected to Him. Emotionally spent, yet so alive inside.
Those feelings aren't unusual or so "strange", except for how heavy it feels right now.
I'm still trying to glean everything from every speaker and every conversation. My heart is like a sponge right now as it's still trying to soak in every drop. God is absolutely reaching in and rearranging so much in me.
From the outside, my family is seeing me stressed and tired. Yet, from the inside, they aren't seeing what really is going on.
Their Mom (wife) is actually going through a refining. A breaking down of walls. A faith that is being strengthened, even through testing.
God is here. He's listening. He's reaching out.
In the whirlwind of life, I'm still seeking. Still finding.
Oh how I wish I could just run away for a few days so I could truly calm the outside chaos to hear the inner workings of His spirit.
Looking forward to the words free flowing to the keyboard again. Definitely will be blogging next week with some more give-a-ways. Hope to be blogging about the heart changes taking place. Even hope to be blogging, transparently, about the hard things----those hidden cobwebs that He is sweeping out.
One specific workshop I attended I KNEW would be hard and life-changing and it most definitely didn't disappoint, even though it was HARD to sit through and now hard emotionally to work through. (Letting Go of Baggage with Suzie Eller----and now joining in her book study of Unburdened Heart: Finding the Freedom of Forgiveness).
I'm coming back soon. Just soaking in and working through what God is working on in me right now.