This is only a test....

Sunday morning our sermon message was about the passage in Matthew 15 that talks about the faith of the Canaanite woman  (and it's also in Mark 7, she's the Syrophoenician woman ).  I loved that our pastor talked about this passage and admitted that he had struggled with understanding it for a long time.  I, too, had wondered why Jesus seemed so "rude" in his response. 

I loved how he talked about that it was a test.  A test of her faith.  A test of the response of the disciples to see how much they had grown in their learning that more than just a "select" few are worthy of His time.  Had they learned to move beyond their prejudice?  Had they learned that no one was inferior?

In this case, they failed.  They still had learning to do.  They would need more testing and remedial learning along the way.  It isn't until later in Acts that we see them begin to pass the test and realize that people were created equal and equally loved by God regardless of their heritage/nationality/etc...

The woman:  she passed the test.  Her faith was strong.  She had grit.  She wouldn't take His initial silence as the final answer.  She was pleading for her child.  She had endurance and she passed the faith test. 

In that story, the disciples failed the love test.  The woman, passed the faith and endurance test.  He refers to the disciples as having little faith (think of them later on the ship as the waves were threatening).  In verse 28 he says "O woman, great is your faith".  She had prevailed.  She had not given up, even when she thought He was silent on the issue.

The message really hit home last night as Kevin and I were out on our weekly date.  I realized we are in that same spot. 

This is only a test....

We are finding ourselves in a tough spots.  Struggling under some very heavy loads. 

I told him that it felt overwhelming that we seemed to be back in the same situations that we found ourselves in several years ago.  I wasn't happy about it.  OK----I was having a meltdown over it.  In the middle of a Walgreens parking lot (we seem to have major conversations and life changing moments in pharmacy parking lots for some strange reasons....such as our commitment to stop running from our calling to the foreign mission field!). I wasn't kicking and screaming like a 2 year old, but I wasn't far from it.  I was livid that it seems like we are on repeat cycle. 

Then it hit me. 

Sunday's message.  Just over 24 hours later.

This is only a test....

The words very clearly were spoken to my heart and a sudden peace filled me from head to toe. 

The first time we found ourselves in similar predicaments, we failed.  Miserably.  One problem rolled into another. Life fell apart. Our marriage barely held together.  Our faith was shredded.  We really began to lose our way.  We took our eyes off of Him because we didn't think He was close by.  We tried to fix problems in our own power.  We ignored situations.  We made bad decisions.  We reacted to situations instead of proactively seeking wise counsel.  When the going got tough....we crumbled.  We failed the test.  Miserably.  Over and over.

This is only a test....

Though we don't want to be facing the struggles we are finding ourselves knee deep in and we didn't bring them on ourselves by poor decisions.  We still find ourselves here...again. 

The difference is we failed the first rounds. 

This time we won't. 

Our eyes are not coming off of His.  We are seeking Him first instead of last. We are battling with weapons of spiritual warfare.  We are pulling together and embracing our "stronger. together" family and marriage focus.  We aren't battling each other; we realize we are on the same team, fighting for the same purposes. We aren't going down without fight.  We see the battle for what it is: Satan's attempt to divide us so that we won't go forward with what we know God has intended for us.  He is trying to derail us before we even get our foot in the door.

The battle is hard.  We find ourselves facing discouragement like we've not dealt with in a long time.  We feel bruised, battered, and worn down....

BUT....

This is only a test....

and we won't fail.

We are going to pass the faith and endurance test.  We are trusting in Him.  We aren't backing down.

Though we don't want to face the struggles and would prefer the easy way, we know the power of the Refiner's Fire.  It's never pleasant in the process, but the results are spectacular. 

Though we would prefer to not have to fight battles, we do KNOW that we will prevail and that He will lead us along the path that draws us to Him.

This is only a test....

This is our second chance (or third, fifth, or thousandth!) to do what we should have done the first round(s).  This is our chance to show what we've learned.  This is our chance to draw from the failures.  This is our chance to LET HIM SHINE. 

This is only a test....
 
This is when we turn in our test paper and get the passing grade.  This is when we wait to hear the words, "O, woman (man) great is your faith."  We aren't going to let the "little faith" drag us down in the pits of the places we went through before.