Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day 2012 (Part 1)

We've been without Daddy for almost 18 months now.  Many days I feel stronger and capable of feeling like I *will* get through this.  Then there are days that just continue to rip me up inside out.  Father's Day happens to be the one that hits me the hardest.  Other holidays are hard, but it's easy to focus on other things.  You can't do that with Father's Day.  

This morning I was thinking about the empty spot that he has left in my heart.  I can't replace it.  I can't fill it.  I can't wish it away.  I can't heal it.  I can't.  

Yet, I realized something powerful today.  That empty spot is there for a reason.  

A powerful one.  

It's the hole that reminds me that there IS a reunion coming.  That piece of me WILL be made complete. 

However, that hole serves as a greater reminder.

It reminds me of what he taught me.
It reminds me of what he expects of me.
It reminds me of the fact that he will ALWAYS be part of me and that nothing can change that. Death is temporary.

Above all, it reminds me to never give up.  Stay strong.  Stay on the NARROW path. It reminds me that I have to keep my focus heavenward.  NOT focused on things of the world.  I have to keep my eyes on Christ and live a life that keeps me in continuous connection with Him. Forget worldly standards. It reminds me the importance of teaching my children spiritual values that can withstand the pressures of the world.  

That hole may be painful and stings with such emptiness.  Yet the reminder of why it is there is beautiful and priceless.  

*And yes, Daddy, I'm still doing my best to hold fast to those promises we made you!  Because those promises guard that privilege of being reunited with you in heaven on the day I see Christ face-to-face!*

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