I've always clung to the saying "little is much when God is in it". It has meant more and more to me as my heart has grown and changed through the years. Never has it meant more than in recent weeks and months as God has opened doors in several different directions---all leading in the direction of His purpose for me and the way He wants to use me. Again---I'm not exactly sure where all of those doors are leading, but it seems like day after day He is just nudging more and more. Admitedly, I'm a bit out of my comfort zone. At times it is pushing me to step out on a limb and walk in faith. Other times it's a bit unnerving because I can only see one or two steps in front of me and not the end picture. I was sharing some of my concerns with a dear friend last week and she reminded me that where I am right now is the perfect place. When I'm not in control and God is the one directing, there is no better place to be. I VERY much needed her reminder.
"Little is much"....
You just never know what the results of stepping out in faith may be. Back many months ago when we did the "Cannonball" series at church, we talked often about jumping in with both feet when God asks us to do something for Him. We talked about how our ripples in the water might feel small when compared to those of others, but they were still just as important. I often feel "tiny" and insignificant in this big world (especially with how some people have looked down on me and cut me down for "just" being at home with my children and for choosing to home educate). I committed myself then to jumping in and not looking back. We also talked about how being obedient might be something very small to us and that we might not see the whole picture. Those ripples of faith might be small at the time, but with God those ripples could be made bigger.
I'm beginning to see that and I'm excited to see the next layer of ripples and to see how God is developing His plan.
One of my cannonball moments came with the decision to participate as a mentor for Bible in 90 days. Having completed the challenge twice, God had laid it on my heart to take it up another step. Many of you have witnessed how very much my life has changed by being obedient to the calling to participate. The second time I completed the journey was just days after Dad died and it was one of the biggest ways that I managed those first few months and found such emotional/spiritual strength. At the completion, I didn't think God could ever bless me any greater than He had during that time. I was so wrong about that! What I had already experienced was nothing in comparison to the blessings that came through my decision to lead a mentor group. I had the option of just mentoring and not reading, but I felt led to participate along with the group I had been assigned. The list of blessings, miracles, growth, opportunities, doors opening and strength I experienced during that time is beyond words. Though only a few women completed the challenge in it's entirity (which is completed normal and expected), I learned something from each one of them no matter how far along they got. I did know a few of the women before beginning, but the majority of women were complete strangers. Oh boy....how they quickly touched my heart and made the world seem so much smaller! I will forever cherish those months!
Now, God has opened an incredible door again.
The last several weeks, I have been extremely unsettled. I've not felt comfortable with my level of spending time in God's word. "Just" reading a few pages or doing a devotional has been leaving me empty. I haven't had that same connection with God as I was experiencing. At first, I thought it was greatly because of the emotional roller coaster of this newest stage of grief and the heartache of some personal situations we are facing. I thought my emotions were just out of whack and were "blocking" me from feeling God so close. I soon learned that though I am emotionally struggling on some levels, the discontent is coming because God was opening a door and was preparing me to step up another level.
I contacted Amy with MomsToolbox (the online host of B90) about when the next session would be starting. I wanted to go ahead and put it on the calendar so to speak. I KNEW God was leading me to participate again and in a leadership role. She and I had already talked about some level of participating again and the development of some mentor guidelines. She let me know that God was speaking to her about making some changes and that she was still working on some details and continuing to quietly listen to Him and how He was directing her. I was encouraged that she was listening to God and He was leading her in a bigger direction. Yet, I was still unsettled because I didn't have MY direction.
I decided that perhaps I needed to just go ahead and do B90 on my own to see if "that" would give me the connection I needed. It helped somewhat, but I knew that wasn't exactly "it" either. NOT enough. Kind of like the game we play with the kids when searching for a hidden object....the you're cold, you're getting warmer, your'e getting colder kind of game. I was getting warmer, but I just wasn't getting close enough to the object to hear "your'e hot!'.
I've finally heard those words. I'm on the right track as God opened a door and opened it wide!
"Just" a Mom--Refined by Grace (that's ME!)...........will be hosting an online session of B90. It's such an incredible feeling to have confirmation that what God was telling me and what He was revealing to her are in line. Under her guidance, with her tools and directing...I can only imagine where God will lead this project for all involved!
As details are being worked on, I ask you to pray for me and for all the others that have agreed to accept this challenge. Pray for those we will be leading. Pray that our hearts are in the right place as leaders. Pray for doors to open for this outreach to go WELL beyond anything we could ever dream. Pray for those that will participate. Pray that this "movement" is just the beginning. Pray for me specifically to be able to balance the work needing to be done to prepare for it because it's already a very stressful time of year with the holidays in general (I KNOW anyone reading this understands THAT!). It's also coinciding with some other doors opening and needing to balance everything with my "normal" responsibilities is a little overwhelming. VERY overwhelming. Yet, I'm jumping in with both feet. I'm jumping in with faith and believing God to work out each and every detail. I'm believing that He has brought me to THIS point for a reason. Pray for me as I decide how I want to lead this, what level of involvement I will have in the blog and how I go about it. Pray that I will be used exactly as God is leading. Pray that the doors He is opening swing WIDE open. Pray that the doors that are opening in various different places will all come together for one consolidated purpose.
Pray and ask God if He is asking you to participate. Maybe you've never read the Bible cover to cover (most Christians haven't!). Maybe you started the challenge before (maybe even 15 times!) and didn't quite make it. Maybe you succeeded but you are ready to try again to see what God reveals to you by reading again. Maybe you are not a Christian and you want to see what the Bible has to say. Believe it or not, there have been many that have participated in the B90 challenges that were in that same position!
I'll be back with details as we get closer to kicking off the challenge. For now, I just wanted to give you a heads up of the direction I'm going and how I'd love to have you join in. Let me know if you think you might want to join in. I would absolutely LOVE to have you join us and I know without a doubt that God will bless you during that time and the ripples will be continuous. "Little IS much when God is in it!"