"There are just some things I can not do. That's a fact & I'm OK with that!" Who would have thought such GREAT wisdom would have been heard in a young child's cartoon? Even better yet, who would have thought that my brain would have picked it up and processed it at 7:00 in the morning! Just plain miraculous! OK---so the show (Martha Speaks) is an animated cartoon with a talking dog. Realistic? Obviously not! Speaking the truth? Absolutely.
I have been busy this morning actually getting some things accomplished. Not the energizer bunny by any means, but finally moving in a positive direction and seeing things come together. I know my list is overwhelming at the moment, but just yesterday's boost from God has opened up the door to allow me to be not so "paralyzed" with inaction because I didn't know which direction to go. As I've buzzed around, that cartoon statement has been on a repeat loop in my head and I can't get it to go away.
First off, there are things I CAN NOT do. I don't think I could write out an exhaustive list because there are more things I can't do than I can do. Unfortunately, I get wrapped up in the "not" as some kind of failure or that there is something lacking in me. I realized just how much I needed to carry the rest of the statement over into my own life. "That's a fact and I'm OK with that!" Wow! Let's try it....I, Tracye Goad, can NOT do (fill in the blank) and I'm OK with that. I think that just provided freedom like never before.
It doesn't mean I'm not going to try, but it does mean that I should be content with MY "cant's". Sure there are learning opportunities EVERY direction I turn and I will never stop learning, but there are things I can NOT do. On the silly side, I can NOT ride a roller coaster (because I WILL hurl and I will literally thinking I'm going to die!). I can NOT play team sports (unless it's part of the laugh Olympics). I can NOT go two days in a row without tripping over my own two feet or spilling something. Facts.
What about taking it up a few notches and going deeper? I can NOT be all things to ALL people. I can NOT control other people's actions. I can NOT protect my kids, my husband, myself or my loved ones from EVERY hurt. I can NOT make every decision for my children. I can NOT make time speed up, slow down, rewind, or fast forward. I can NOT balance all of my roles without help. I can NOT meet every need. I can NOT make it so my husband fulfills EACH and EVERY one of my needs (or friend, parent, etc....) I can NOT make every past hurt, disappointment, or failure go away. Oh, goodness...that list could go on forever. Plain and simple, I CAN NOT....that's a fact and I'm OK with that. Or at the very least, I'm learning to be OK with that. Work in process.
Going even deeper with that thought process brings me to the REAL freedom in believing that it is OK to be content with the "can not's". I do NOT have to be ALL of those things and I do NOT have to be able to do everything. Gasp.....did you just hear that huge weight being lifted? Coming from a perfectionist with my driven personality, that's a huge "AHA" moment. I don't have to be ALL of those things because I was NOT MEANT to be!!!! DID you hear that? I am EXACTLY who God created me to be, with the skills and personality he gave me. I always have room for growth and will constantly be seeking to move ahead, but guess what.....HE is going to love me regardless of how long that process takes or if I EVER reach my goals or not.
I don't have to look at other supermom's and feel lacking. Their grass isn't always greener (or as someone likes to tell me....if it does look greener it's because it's sitting over a septic system!). I don't have to do things the way someone else does them for it to be "right". If I'm seeking God and keeping my eyes focused on Him, nothing else is going to matter. He will either GIVE me the skills I need, provide someone that CAN, or show me that it didn't matter in the first place. I constantly think of the statement that "He doesn't call the equipped, HE EQUIPS the called!" How true is that. So where I can't.....HE will. Sometimes, He turns those "can not's" into "can" and other times He provides a different way. The other things, things that I have ZERO control over, HE does control.
So for now, as I look at the overwhelming tasks in front of me, I'm going to say I CAN'T. It's not a giving up attitude, because we know that a defeated attitude gets you NOWHERE. It's more about having freedom in knowing that when I can't, HE CAN! He can move the mountains, provide the need, heal the hurt, make a way when there doesn't see any way possible. HE can! I can't!!!! "There are just some things I can not do. That's a fact and I'm OK with that!"