Life continues to be...well...messy. Unpredictable. Not exactly as *I* planned or working on *my* timetable. Just basically best described as a rollercoaster. Not specifically any major catastrophe, just lots of things going on at once (just like many of us are facing), it gets hard to balance.
Though some days it somewhat feels like life is falling apart, in reality...in TRUE reality (God's reality)....life is actually falling into place.
It's a shaping process. A molding and chiseling. Sometimes that shaping is easy and sometimes it's painful. When we submit our lives to Him and specifically ask Him to shape us and put our feet on His path, we may quickly find that He answers that prayer....and it's not a comfortable one. My heart has been encouraged to begin praying those hard prayers. The ones that may require me to change. To let go of things. To surrender in areas. To allow our dreams to be shaped into His. Ones that reveal our own character flaws and our weaknesses. Ones that end up revealing our failures. Prayers that reveal where we wrongly place our faith.
Yet those are the places we HAVE to be to grow in Him. We've all heard the caution: "Be careful what you wish for!". For so long, I've carried that over into my prayer life. "Be careful what you pray for."
I am praying those hard prayers.
Lord change me.
Lord YOUR will.
Lord YOUR timing.
Lord YOUR direction.
Lord, reveal to me my hidden sin.
Lord, show me my weaknesses so that YOUR strength can be made known.
Lord, less of me and more of you.
Lord, teach me to trust YOU.
And He answers.
it's so not an easy road.
It's through these seasons that true growth happens.
Just going to have to put on my seatbelt and hold on tight to see where the journey with Him leads. No better place to be.