Friday, December 3, 2010

God's Will IS Perfect For Me

Today I read a blog that reminded me of a much needed truth.   It talked about how God's PERFECT will may not look the way that I think it should.  There is no doubt that this storm we are facing is NOT one I would choose for myself or my family.  As a matter of fact, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.  However, the reminder was there for me to see that even when I can not fathom what it is that God is doing----I CAN trust Him.  Daily I chose to trust Him.  Sometimes, every minute I MUST choose to trust Him.  If I don't, then EVERY single truth I have based my life on becomes a lie.

The words from Pastor Steve Furtick say it beautifully:

God’s will for you is to become everything He dreamed you to be so that you might glorify Him the way He deserves to be. And that doesn’t necessarily happen through easy circumstances or perfect conditions.

God’s will doesn’t have to be perfect to me to be perfect for me.

If you need proof of this, just take a brief glance at the Bible:

God’s will for Job wasn’t perfect to him. He lost everything. But it was perfect for him. It brought him to a whole new level of faith and positioned him for a greater blessing later in his life.

God’s will for Joseph wasn’t perfect to him. He landed in slavery and prison for over a decade. But it was perfect for him. Through him, God saved his family and an entire nation.

God’s will for Paul probably didn’t seem perfect to a lot of people. Few men have ever suffered so much for the gospel. But it was perfect for him. Few men have ever spread the gospel so vastly in their lifetime.

God’s will for Jesus didn’t seem perfect to his disciples. In the garden of Gethsemane, even He didn’t want it. But it was perfect for him. He defeated and humiliated sin on the cross. Then conquered death in the resurrection. And thereby provided salvation to the whole world.

God’s will for you might not always seem perfect to you. But trust me, His will is perfect for you.

The job you hate right now might not seem perfect to you. But through it God is perfectly developing your character, patience, and faithfulness.

That relationship you just lost might not seem like God’s perfect will to you. But the person God is clearing space for and has been preparing you for your entire life is perfect for you.

The disease you’re battling right now might not seem perfect to you. But God could use your pain as a platform for the gospel to reach countless people. And He’s putting you in the perfect position to comfort others.

That doesn’t make it easy. But it does make it meaningful. Purposeful. Worth it.

It makes it perfect for you.

I can not begin to figure out what God's plan in all of this is or what the outcome will be.  My prayer is that he performs a modern day miracle for my Dad.  What I have to accept and prepare for is that His will may not line up to mine and that I have to firmly believe that His plan has a purpose.

Though I'm struggling with some really powerful things and it's taking EVERYTHING and more to keep moving ahead, I choose to continue to believe His promises to be true.  Looking back over the last several weeks and even months, we are each becoming aware of how God has had his hands on us preparing things for us.  I know my step mom has mentioned some things to us in private conversations and though I choose to honor that privacy, I believe that she is also seeing his hand at work.  For us, two MAJOR things have happened in recent months that we now believe to be in direct preparation for the battle we are facing. 

For those of you that know my daughter well, you know that she is a PASSIONATE gymnast.  Her work ethic and drive compared to no other.  Several months ago she suddenly decided she wanted to walk away and though we fully supported her choice, we weren't exactly sure what lead her to that decision.  We understood her reasons and supported her choice but none of us could grasp the sudden end of her "drive".  Looking back now, it was God giving her the bigger picture of her life.  Tomorrow officially starts competition season for our gym.  There is no way that we would have been able to keep up that lifestyle with what we have going on.  Three to four hour practices a day, traveling usually three out of four weekends a month, and the extreme strain on the finances and body would have been a breaking point for us.  Had she not already made the decision to pursue other things, having to walk away from the gym RIGHT now would have been beyond devastating.  God took her heart and worked with it in His way, giving her another direction to go.....making this journey ever slightly easier for her.  I never doubted her decision, but now I finally understand the abruptness and the timing. 

Sometimes other things---very painful things---happen that we don't have any idea what the purpose could be.  I've mentioned great loss in our lives over the last several months and one hit Kevin and I extremely hard.  We only shared the details with a very select few people.  For the most part it was kept private because I just didn't have the words.  Though I still do not have complete understanding and have many unanswered questions for God, I am beginning to understand part of His plan.  Just a few days before Labor Day and Kevin's family reunion, we suffered a very early miscarriage.  At that point, we had BARELY even had time to wrap our brains around the fact that we were expecting number four.  The only explanation I could come up with at the time was that I wasn't healthy enough to carry a baby full term since I had been having too many flare-ups and we've usually tried to time pregnancies when I've been flare free for at least six months.  We felt that perhaps God was saving us some REAL heartache by it happening SO early....versus several months down the road.  Now I understand that there was a bigger plan.  I know it would have been nearly impossible to have handled a pregnancy all the way to full term with what we are dealing with, especially knowing that the last one resulted in 4.5 months of bed rest.  It has been a tough emotional battle for me, especially knowing that our child would have been born just a month or so after our granddaughter.  God's plans may not seem perfect TO me, but they are perfect FOR me.  I can't see the big picture, the tapestry fully complete, but God can. 

I'm still battling minute by minute to keep my head above water.  I'm on a roller coaster like no other.  I am failing at keeping things together many days, but some minutes are purely amazing and we are doing our best to wrap ourselves up in those.  I easily fall apart.  I easily get angry and people irritate me more than normal with their petty complaints or how they live their lives with no regard to Christ.  Normal.  Struggling....but normal.  I just know that every single time I've been at my lowest breaking point, God has come through in one form or another.  I will continue to hold onto that.  There is NO other choice for myself or our family. 

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