Fraud Prevention

Yesterday, I did something rare (for me) on social media. I started a post with, "Monday, you suck." You see, I am a drill sergeant when it comes to foul language. It has no place coming from the mouth of a Christian, though others will disagree. And though that word isn't on many radars as foul, I've considered it questionable and not been a fan of hearing it. But some days, honestly speaking, that word applies.

It was already highly stressful in our minds because we had an appointment on the calendar to get the results from some serious and pressing medical testing. Sleep was hard to come by. Easter Sunday  evening ended with a dumping of snow and then early morning ice. Before dawn we heard a loud crash, but we honestly ignored it. It sounded like a trash truck, snow plow, or construction materials being unloaded across the street. We've become pretty used to those sounds. About 15 minutes later, we jumped out of our skin because the doorbell rang. Before sunrise. Kev threw on shorts and went to the door. Baxter goes berserk at the door and though I tried to keep him from getting out of the bedroom, he followed Kev out. At the door stood a policeman and Baxter got out the front door. Can you picture this? Like one of those family comedy movie scenes. Kev came back to our room, with a recaptured dog, and starting getting fully dressed and looked for his glasses, to which we both can't see without them. "Hey, babe, that's a cop at the door. The snowplow hit Adriana's car." We've been thoroughly embracing these few mornings together watching the sun rise, but looking out the window to that scene, wasn't so serene. By the time the police report was done, the city plow driver and his supervisor gone, the debris cleaned up, we were running late. It was a scramble to get cars moved, 6 or more inches of snow and ice removed from cars, one child out the door to work... and then Kevin fell on the ice. Yep. Where was the video crew for the crazy adventure of Goad life? We made it to the appointment. The news was good in regards that it was a relief on one hand, but not so good in others. Not the worst scenario, but not a "you're good to go" scenario either. Lots to absorb at once. On a crazy day. (Maybe at another time I'll share more, but today's not that day. Please respect that.) We sent one Goad off one way, grabbed another from a waiting area.  Then we sat in the car and looked at each other and collectively took a breath. Now it was a race home to deal with the crashed car. She'd gone on to work in one of ours, but that was only a temporary solution. It took 8 phone calls before we ever got connected to the "right" person at the right time.  Some of those calls weren't so pretty and required some force we aren't accustomed to using. Finally got approval for a rental car, but because she's only 20 that was even complicated. After getting that, Kevin finally went into work.  I tried to get some sanity restored and we still had school to do. It was already 2:00. Then there were more phone calls, adjustor visit, and more calls. More chaos. A date night that wasn't so great because we both were beat, overwhelmed and stressed. We ended the day finally plopping in bed, sharing one look, and dissolving in laughter. What else can you do on such a day? We both just said, really? Really? Did this day really happen this way?

If you've read this far, let me FINALLY get to the point.

We can sometimes be guilty of "prettying up" our faith. Honesty is where we all connect and grow together. If we only paint the picture of the good stuff, never our failures, fears, shortcomings....we are frauds.

Yesterday wasn't pretty. Today isn't either. We're going through some hard things. Our handling of it all isn't always the best. Our faith is our lifeline, but sometimes it takes a beating. Some days it takes the encouragement of others to support us and remind us to cling tighter. We are that support many days to others; others we are or need to be on the receiving end.

Some days what's under the surface is damaged and needs fixing. It may not be completely visible. It may look ok. That friend may look like they have it all together. They don't. Trust me, we're all a mess. We all are in some despair or brokenness. Joy is real, sustaining, and life giving. That doesn't mean there isn't hurt.

Her car is an example. Yes, there's visible damage.  Like a missing mirror. Some of the damage you don't see until you get a foot away.  Like dents and scrapes. Some damage isn't visible until you try to use it. Like a door that won't open and engine noise because of broken motor mounts. But the real damage isn't on the surface that you see just driving by. It's underneath. It's the warped alignment, the bent wheel, and suspension issues. That car, honestly, at first glance doesn't look so horribly bad, but it's our understanding it's most likely going to be considered totaled. (Which creates a whole other level of stress. Of course the last two weekends had dozens of hours and hundreds of dollars of work done on it by Kevin to keep it tip top shape. Timing. Sigh.)

Our faith can look and feel like that. I admitted to someone dear this morning that I feel like a fraud at times. Do hard seasons make you feel that way? You TRUST God with your whole being, you serve Him, love others, etc... but in the deep places you're angry, hurt, weak, confused, tired, or just uncertain. Does Satan use that time to twist you up in knots, convince you that God can't be trusted, or make your faith feel weak?

Here's what I'm reminded of, it's not being a fraud to struggle. Faith doesn't require perfection. It's sometimes messy. It's sometimes a wrestling.

Guess what? He gets that. He understands that. He doesn't run from our honesty. He doesn't even turn His back on us when we make our own messes even messier. I don't even think He looks down in shame at me when I admit the day sucks. Maybe He wishes I'd express it differently (me too), but He's most likely whispering, "I know it does. Just keep holding on to me through this stormy season."

Perhaps the best fraud prevention IS honesty. Because without honesty, that's where fraud develops.

After a complete breakdown earlier today, I was reading a verse I often cling to. Today it jumped off the pages and spoke directly and deeply.

"So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, CONTINUE to live in him, ROOTED and BUILT up in him, STRENGTHENED in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with THANKFULNESS." Colossians 2: 6-7

The key to not being a fraud, the keys to surviving through dark seasons and "hidden damage" below the surface, is found in that short passage.

Continue.
Rooted and Built up.
Strengthened.
Overflowing with Thankfulness.

It really changes everything. Sustains. And gives you the courage to cling to what matters on those most difficult days and seasons. Even when YOU feel like you've been totaled.