Let's face it. Sometimes life is hard....really hard. It's very easy to get bogged down in day to day struggles. It's not a secret that we've been hit with obstacles from every direction lately. Some of which have been made public and some that have been kept private. Some of those struggles are beginning to resolve, others just starting and others seem like there will NEVER be a positive resolution for.
What do I do? Keep on going, keep on praising God through each and every storm. Keep focusing on keeping my eyes AND heart on the most important things. Do I always succeed? NO! However, just about the time I think I can't handle another single second or can't carry another situation.....God provides. He may not offer provision in the way I demand or exactly the way I THINK I need, but he DOES provide. God has not taken away Kevin's illness. He hasn't lifted our financial stress. He hasn't morphed me into the super-woman I need to be to handle all of my different roles. He hasn't......fill in the blanks....there are MANY of them.
However, he HAS provided. He's given us SO many things that matter! The amazing blessing of a long distance friend that I've never physically met, but holds one of the most prized places in my heart. She blessed me beyond words with a priceless gift---to some it would have meant very little---but to me it was HUGE! Her uplifting words & encouragement is beyond compare. He HAS given us hope that there are brighter days ahead. He's gifted me with new friendships that are growing every day and leaving me feeling less alone. He's given me the ability to see how important the LITTLE things are. We live in a world of BIG things, but it REALLY is the little things that are the most important. It seems like for every heartache & disappointment I'm facing, God has provided a different blessing to fill in that hole or gap. It doesn't necessarily make the pain go away or the hurt any less real, but it sure makes moving forward in faith MUCH easier. I'm rediscovering just how strong my marriage can be because we are having to fully depend on each other. Having been at the bottom, we have learned just how special we are to each other and are much more likely to express it.
I've learned that there are healthy ways to deal with stress & heartache. I have been so far to the bottom and in such a deep depression that there always comes that fear that I will slip back. I finally feel that I'm a conqueror! Knowing where I've been, I know this is one of those times that the old me WOULD have hit rock bottom. Even though yes it's a struggle and pain is VERY real, what is MORE amazing is the victory & freedom that I'm finding. God has finally shown me how to overcome & that is a HUGE blessing in my life!
I'm just so very thankful that through everything coming our way, God has made sure that he has given me a beacon to follow. Sometimes it has been my own heart....just the right words from a friend....just a certain look from Kevin.....and MANY other things. I'm learning to fight my way through the darkness with my eyes set on Him. It is very easy to lose track and focus just purely on the negativity, the whys and why nots......but I'm refusing to stay there. Instead of getting caught up in the feeling of God not answering my prayers, I'm focusing on the things He IS DOING or has done. He has promised to never leave or forsake me and I AM HOLDING on to that PROMISE!
To end this post, I read something this morning that I think is really life changing. I'm "borrowing" it from Gretchen & I'm so thankful she posted it. I think it PERFECTLY describes my view of life lately in words I could have never chosen. Very profound.
" THIS day comes equipped with a set of fresh opportunities. In its joys and pleasures, I can show my gratitude to God. In its trials and temptations, I can prove my faithfulness to God. In its pains and hardships, I can demonstrate my trust in God. In whatever form, the day's events will bring opportunities for service...to God and others, and chances to exhibit the virtues of faith, hope, and love."