In Pursuit

Regardless how I feel about an outgoing year and a new one coming, whether the outgoing one has been a season of joy or one of difficulty,  something that I take seriously is the choosing of my yearly word focus. That simple word is far from simple. I prayerfully and thoughtfully consider it for weeks or even months. Last year was "abide" and it was the perfect fit for the direction I wanted my heart to go. Sometimes the word comes quickly and definitively and others I have had to really wrestle with it.

This year was a wrestling year, but at almost the last moment He clearly put it in my heart.

For the last two months, "radiate" was the word that came to heart time and time again. Actually, quite obsessively in ways. I want to live such a life that I radiate Him in all I do. Certainly THAT was going to be THE word to steer my heart this year. It kept standing out and showing up.  It seemed perfect and expressed my direction well, but there was just a little something that just held me back from claiming it.

Earlier today, I was praying again for direction, just in general about the upcoming year. Not specifically for "my" word, but about some things on my heart.  A new year makes me excited and anxious at the same time. We're in a season of constant change and that's sometimes a bit difficult to navigate. 2017 was incredible in many ways and extremely difficult in others. I have mixed feelings about letting it go and embracing the next.

But in those quiet moments, a word was put so deep in my spirit, unexpectedly. I instantly knew it was right and from Him.

PURSUE

Hello, #my2018oneword , nice to finally meet you!

Because of how certain and unexpected that hit my spirit, and my knowing it was directly from the Holy Spirit, I spent some time doing a word study in various commentaries, dictionaries, and study apps. If PURSUE is such a message intentionally spoken to my heart, I immediately wondered exactly why He was sending me that message.

To pursue: seek, follow, to go after in a like fashion, proceed without following another, to continue, to imitate, to strive to reach or gain

A focus to pursue Him: relentlessly, whole heartedly, unabashedly, and without reserve.

I'm certain that is a beautiful focus for 2018.

HE pursued me. He constantly draws me back to Him when I get off track. His pursuit of me was with such uncompromising and unconditional love that He willingly died for me.  I was recently reminded in a study of how He CHOSE to make that sacrifice. No one took His life, He willingly gave it.

Knowing that changes everything.

PURSUE Him
Reminded of these verses:

•  Ask, Seek, Knock (Luke 11:9-10)--- active and relentlessly, persistence 
• He detests the way of wicked, but loves those who pursue righteousness (Proverbs 15:9)
• Follow the way of love and pursue spiritual gifts (1 Corinthians 14:1)
• Pursue love, faith, righteousness, gentleness, godliness, peace  (1 Timothy 6:11, 2 Timothy 2:22)
• You'll find Me when you seek me with your whole heart (Jeremiah 29:13)
• Seek FIRST His kingdom (Matthew 6:33)

Pursue. 

Him first. 

Nothing else matters. 

Though my word has obvious deep spiritual meaning/ impact and I look forward to more time digging into Scripture, walking in faith, and earnestly seeking Him...

I also want to pursue in 2018:

• My dreams again: those I've put aside while raising our kids, the ones I've failed or quit, the ones I didn't have enough faith for, the ones others snuffed out, and even ones I've yet to discover
• My health: feeling stronger, healthier, and back on track as a priority; controlling my lupus symptoms more than they control me,  balancing hormones, managing stress
• My ministry with more focus: I've been reminded of the value of happy mail and encouraging the overlooked and broken hearted, Satan had been lying to me and making me think it wasn't beneficial
• My relationships: focusing on my roles, priorities, getting out of my box and stepping outside my deep rooted comfort zones at times, pursuing community, spending more one on one time making others feel valued
• My goals: getting back to what matters most in our home, our homeschool, and our family
• My husband: keeping things fresh, special, laughter filled and connected even after these 22 years of marriage, it's incredible to be pursued but also such value in doing the pursuing, pursuing our lives together in new seasons
• Joy 
• Contentment
• Authenticity & Vulnerability
• Gratitude
• Discernment
• Wisdom
• Being present fully in the moment
• Word before World, in all aspects

I may have started the day with ambivalence, a bit of restrained hope, and a bit of trepidation as I thought of the coming year...

But now...

It's with a true excitement to see what it brings. No need to have one foot in the past and one in the future. I just need to be present right where my feet currently are, walking in pursuit of Him.

After all, these last couple of months have reignited a belief in miracles and deepened the role of prayer and the strength of His Spirit. With that knowledge, 2018, you're welcome here. 

In pursuit of Him,

Tracye. 

Make GRATITUDE Home in Your Heart

Today the calendar rolled around to a very special day for us. Today marked exactly one year of being HOME in the little green fixer upper house at the edge of the cul-de-sac. About an hour ago this time last year, we unlocked the door with OUR keys and 90 minutes later started painting bedrooms and ripping out bathrooms! It was completely cheesy, but we had a fun meal and made a birthday cake to celebrate the day.

One year of countless big and little DIY projects to renovate a neglected 70s diamond in the rough. We're far from finished, but it shines so bright to us. We lived here in IL a decade before God gave us the clear message of "now" instead of "wait" on buying a home.  This year has given us roots, joy, ownership, renewed faith and satisfaction. REDEEMED is boldly and ENORMOUSLY displayed to be the first thing you see when walking in, because that's the theme of our lives and our home.

Life is lived here.
Love is lived here.
Grace is lived out here.
Mistakes are made here.
Forgiveness is offered here.
Joy overflows here.
HE lives here.

But, one other great thing lives here more than ever.

Gratitude.

In our home and in our hearts above all else...

Not just one day. But an attitude from deep within.

This year is rapidly coming to a close on the calendar as well and today as I reflect about HOME in the little green house, I began to think of so many great things He's done in our lives this year.

Not a full list, but some of the astounding, most precious things:

• turning house into home
• neighbors we love and that give us a true sense of community, from various walks of life
• a new grandson that has a smile that lights up a room
• our youngest giving his life to Christ and making a public declaration through baptism 
• a daughter about to begin her last semester of college with honors and paramedic licensing that is excelling while working multiple jobs and serving constantly
• a son that has matured in countless ways this year and uses his multiple talents to serve at church
• a marriage of 22 years that has reached the place of being a rare treasure and brings so much daily joy as we live out "stronger together, anchored in Christ"
• Though it looked different than expected or initially how we wanted, some changes at work have greatly reduced the heavy stress on my husband. Still difficult, but much more manageable
• seeing both of Kevin's sons and their families IN PERSON, a true rarity and special gift this year since they live on opposite ends of the map
• bringing my younger brother back multiple times from the brink of death and through two unexpected heart surgeries and providing their needs time and time again
• though we could never share details publicly, a dear loved one protected in some very volatile, dangerous situations thousands of miles away
• HEALING of some deep wounds and some needed broken chains
• RENEWAL of the belief of power in prayer
• some amazing, priceless opportunities on multiple book launch teams that strengthened my faith in deep ways
• news of a family member soon to be home together long term with his family after many, many months apart multiple times
• multiple situations where God protected, healed or provided in dear ones' lives
• a priceless gift of time in person after many years apart with my dearest mentor
• multiple renewed relationships or development of new ones through Bible study groups

That list may be some of the big things, but there are countless others both big and small. This year was hard in so many ways and some days of doubt hung on with a death grip. Even with all the goodness of this year, we are still in the midst of some changes and uncertainties that can only be managed through Him.

However, one thing is for certain...

Gratitude lives here. 

Hope outshines every darkness. 

He's trustworthy and sovereign. 

Nothing else matters.